The Category Game: Children’s Show or Adult Movie?

Katy Perry and her bouncing boobies were the hottest thing to happen to Sesame Street since Big Bird took a slow motion shower under Snufalufagus’s trunk, circa 1984. However, a bunch of uptight prudes are now blaming Katy’s berries for blurring the lines between programs aimed at children and other “programs” aimed at us adults.

But, if you take a look back at some of the G-rated shows made for children and stoned adults, you’ll find that this line has been blurry for a very long time. Below are some of the blurriest. See if you can figure out if they were aimed at children or bigger, hairier children (aka adults).

Bag Puss

stuffed cat

OR

adult movie

Answer:

Although it sounds like an adult “butterface” flick, BagPuss is a 1974 UK children’s television series. The title character is “an old, saggy cloth cat, who’s baggy, and a bit loose at the seams.” (And, no, it’s not played by Betty White.)

Maid Marian and Her Merry Men

maid marian

OR

Answer:

No gang bang here. This children’s television series was a partially-musical comic retelling of the legend of Robin Hood, placing Maid Marian in the role of leader of the Merry Men and reducing Robin to an incompetent ex-tailor, like Lawrence Taylor.

Pinky & Perky

pinky & perky

OR

pinky & perky

Answer:

Pinky and Perky are a pair of anthropomorphic puppet pigs–think Snookie with strings coming out of her Bump-It. The puppets, which had only very limited movements, look similar, except Pinky wore red clothes and Perky wore blue. Clearly if this was a feature about lesbians, they would have dressed them in flannel.

Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies

mama mirabelle

OR

mama mirabelle

Answer:

Set in the African savanna, this animated television series focuses on an enthusiastic elephant named Mama Mirabelle, who travels around the world to film real wildlife footage and project them onto a screen of fireflies in front of almost the entire animal kingdom. Bummer!

Fingerbobs

fingerbobs

OR

fingerbobs

Answer:

Put away the KY; Fingerbobs was a British children’s television program made by the BBC in 1972. In each episode “Yoffy” told a story centered around paper finger puppet animals. Shockingly, this thing only lasted 13 episodes.

Franny’s Feet

frannys feet

OR

frannys feet

Answer:

Sorry, foot fetishers; this show follows the adventures of Frances “Franny” Fantootsie as she tries on various pairs of shoes and travels to different places in the world. Fascinating.

Out of the Box

disney out of the box

OR

cat box

Answer:

Out of the Box is a Disney Channel show where two hosts, Tony and Vivian, made crafts, sang songs and acted out plays in a playhouse made entirely of cardboard boxes, not unlike garden variety hobos.

Crash! Bang! Splat!

splat

OR

splat

Answer:

Although it sounds like a messy wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am quickie, Crash, Bang, Splat! uses stories with everyday kids to explain science and airs on Discovery Kids.

Big Titty Moms Love Black Dongs

sesame street

OR

cover

Answer:

Finally, you got one! Though the innocent name may fool you, this one is only for big kids. And even then, I’d proceed with caution.

I’d love to keep going with these, but I gotta go. Sesame Street is about to start.

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