Nearly Impossible: Top 10 Sexiest WNBA Players of All Time
Yes, the WNBA has attractive females. (Stop laughing. It’s true.) Just to prove it I’ve rounded up 10 of the best looking ones for your misogynistic judgment and inappropriate catcalls in the comments section.
10. Swin Cash
Blessed with beautiful brown eyes and upwards of two low post moves, Swin Cash is the kind of former Big East third-team forward that both male WNBA fans dream about taking home to their confused parents.
Assuming you have an extensive cable package and undying love of lay-ups, you may know her as a crucial member of the Seattle Storm’s recent WNBA championship and key cog on the 2004 USA Women’s Olympic basketball team. Also, sources claim she’s uber popular in her hometown of Pittsburgh.
9. Becky Hammon
According to Wikipedia, Becky Hammon is a woman. In my opinion, she’s a pretty cute one, too. She’s also done a lot of basketball-type stuff that you can read about on her website. (It’s pretty snazzy and filled with lots of Becky Hammon information.)
8. Sue Bird
Remember when the Houston Rockets flushed their draft pick down the toilet when they selected Yao Ming (ahead of Amar’e Stoudemire and Caron Butler) in the 2002 NBA Draft? Well, several months later the Seattle Storm chose to go another direction when they made future Hall of Famer Sue Bird the top selection in the WNBA’s collegiate selection process.
Since entering the league eight years ago, Bird has earned a reputation for clutch play, sharp shooting and the ability to look shockingly feminine in basketball shorts. She is widely regarded as one of the top players in WNBA history and the only three-time Nancy Lieberman Award winner the sport has ever seen. (I have no idea what this award means, but assume it involves former Vice President Joe Lieberman’s wife and/or daughter.)
7. Lisa Leslie
As the only athlete on the list to describe herself as a “WNBA Player and aspiring actress,” Lisa Leslie is a unique talent who can boast both a Sister Sister cameo and WNBA MVP on her résumé.
6. Candace Parker
Here are five fun facts about Candace Parker;
5. She has won a Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Award
4. Her brother, Anthony Parker, was one of my least favorite players on the Toronto Raptors.
3. She is the first woman to dunk a basketball in an NCAA Tournament game.
2. She is married to NBA player Shelden Williams and lists Ron Harper as her favorite player of all-time. (Presumably, she has a thing for mediocre basketball players.)
1. She was unable to open the 2009 season due to a mild case of pregnancy.
A formidable foe to both spell check and American basketball, this talented Russian beauty has been an athletic phenom ever since she attended a Soviet Union established high school called Petrogradskoi N86. (Which sounds like some sort of missile silo or cryogenic facility that houses the frozen head of Joseph Stalin.)
Like almost every top prospect from Leningrad, Svetlana Abrosimova fled her native country and enrolled at an American college for the chance at a better life. If only she had chosen somewhere warmer than Connecticut, she could have really embraced the decision.
4. Ilona Korstine
Ilona Korstine is also a Russian basketball star from Leningrad, so let’s just assume everything about Abrosimova applies to her. (Except the “active player” part. Korstine currently plays professionally in Russia, but did spend some time filling out a Phoenix Mercury uniform. Quite frankly, I’m prepared to count that.)
3.2 points-per-game and a 60 percent career free throw percentage don’t just happen in the WNBA. Those types of stats take hard work, long legs, pretty eyes and a large male fan base. Fortunately, recently retired Phoenix Mercury alumna Kayte Christensen had all that and more. (And by more, I mean great hair and a toned stomach.)
The Oregon native has been a sexual staple in the WNBA community since entering the league in 2002 and remains active in her craft (being hot) in her work as a Sacramento Kings sideline reporter. Because fans don’t want to hear “we may be the worst team in the league this year” from an ugly person with a microphone.
2. Chantelle Anderson
You may remember Chantelle Anderson as a talented scorer who demonstrated her skills during a brilliant six-year WNBA career. It’s also possible you remember her as life coach/adviser on MTV’s hit show Made. Either way, here’s a cute picture of her to gawk at.
1. Lauren Jackson
One of the greatest WNBA players of all time is also one of the sports’ best looking ladies. Standing somewhere between 6 foot, 6 inches and seven feet tall (depending on which WNBA height verification site you trust), Jackson is one of the largest players in the league and a valuable asset in any bar fight or roof cleaning situation.
She posed nude for an Australian magazine prior to the 2004 Summer Olympics, so if you’re reading this article and thinking “she’s cute, but can I judge her naked body without having to film her through a peephole?” simply fire up Google and get your creep on.